How Can You have a Champ if there's No One to Defeat? ["Rowdy" Roddy Piper]

Roddy Piper was extremely hyper.
For Everybody's what ya sang, that's why I liked ya!
On Piper's Pit, he didn't give a shit.
Speakin' his mind, sometimes throwin' a fit.

Starring in B-Films, a Hollywood man.
With a coconut he hit Jimmy Snuka in the head.
I never quite knew what next he would do.
Sportin' black and blue when he wrestled Bad News.

If it wasn't for Piper, there'd be no Hogan.
Mid-Eighties, Roddy was the heel opponent.
Taking wrestling mainstream. He could do 'bout anything.
Leaving back a legacy unmatched in wrestling history.

Never won a world title. But without him,
who possibly would have carried the Federation
back then in the eighties? CCTV.
Wrestlemania three. Wrestled Brutus Beefcake,

then took a short break. Roddy Piper
is truly one of the greats. A wrestling legend!
Even non-wrestling fans know about him.
Even people who hate wrestling give him respect.

On the mic, he's truly the best.
Wanna see him become a stand up comic.
Wore his wedding band during his matches.
A rarity among professional wrestlers. A class act.

Taught highschool in Scotland for a bit.
When he cuts a promo, guarentee you'll be laughin'.
Enjoyin'; recitin' what he said with your friends.
Held numerous accolades in a dozen promotions.

He puts you in a sleeper or a leglock.
Poke ya in the eyes, hit you with an atomic drop.
They made a Piper GI Joe. Didn't even know
there was such a thing. That just goes to show

Roddy's influence on the business.
Appearances in a thousand places. Always travelin'.
Often gets the win. Never a world champion
in WWF. But he proved he was the best.

He became a name that promoters wanted on their marquee.
How can you have a champ if there's no one to defeat?
Knew his damn role, but he didn't shut his mouth.
Confidently said what he thought, without doubt.

If it wasn't for Piper, there'd be no slogan
"Came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum".
Heard it used everywhere. It was in Duke Nukem.
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper is a pop culture icon.

Wore a white shirt. "Hotrod!" on the front.
On the neck and arms it had a red elastic cuff.
His Hasbro figure did the Piper Punch.
Rockin' a kilt and black boots; white laces.

If it wasn't for Piper, there wouldn't be the moment
at 'Mania 25 with Snuka and Steamboat.
The three of those folks took on Jericho.
Piper was the second one to taste the brutal

flavor of a loss. Pinned to the mat.
Not the first time in his career he'd done that.
Put someone over, all for the business.
Understands it's not about losses and wins.